It’s a Condition, Not an Excuse
I was reading a novel recently.
I love fiction.
A really good author doesn’t just tell a story—they teach you something about life without you even realizing it.
One of my favorite authors actually started as a child psychologist.
I’ve been reading his books since the ’80s, and woven into the stories are these subtle, powerful insights into human behavior.
It’s like therapy… disguised as entertainment.
Quick sidenote.
I grew up on cartoons—Looney Tunes, especially.
They worked on two levels.
As a kid, they were hilarious.
But if you were paying attention… there were deeper themes—adult truths hidden in the art.
Same thing here.
Story on the surface.
Wisdom underneath.
Back to the book.
There’s a moment where a character is under intense stress.
And you start to see it…
The patterns.
The reactions.
The default behaviors.
Short temper.
No patience.
No empathy.
Sound familiar?
Maybe you’ve seen it.
Maybe… you’ve been it.
I know I have.
When things ramp up at work…
When people are pulling on me from all directions…
I can feel it.
Just this week—6:30 AM client calls, back-to-back.
That pressure builds fast.
And suddenly…
I have less patience.
Less understanding.
More reaction.
Less compassion.
My defaults take over.
And here’s the tricky part…
The people closest to us?
They often get the overflow.
Not because they deserve it.
But because they’re there.
Now here’s the moment in the book that stopped me cold.
One character finally pushes back and says:
“I understand you’re stressed… but that’s a condition, not an excuse.”
Let that sit.
Because that hit me.
Hard.
See, when I’m stressed…
there’s a part of me that quietly says:
You get a pass.
You’re allowed to snap.
You’re allowed to be a little shitty.
But that line cuts right through it.
Yes—stress is real.
Yes—it affects us.
But it does not give us permission to pass that pain forward.
The shift is this:
We allow the feeling…
without turning it into behavior that harms someone else.
I saw it in myself this week.
The stress was real.
But so was my choice.
My tone changed.
My body changed.
My energy changed.
And yeah…
Sarah got a piece of that.
Until I remembered:
It’s a condition… not an excuse.
So here’s the practice this week:
Notice it.
When the pressure rises…
when the heat comes on…
Recognize what’s happening.
Feel it.
But don’t forward it.
Stop the cycle right there.
And maybe…
I’ll go watch a few cartoons again.
See what else they’ve been trying to teach me all these years.
“When my fist clenches, crack it open…”
“When I smile, tell me some bad news before I laugh and act like a fool…”
Have a beautiful week.
ROAR
(Next week—we’ll unpack what that really means.)
ROAR with Love,
Danny
The Emotional Driver
“Emotion Is the Note. You Are the Song.”
